Home > iambic pentameter, Love, Poem, Poetry, Rhyming, Triolet > This House Shines Dark – a Triolet

This House Shines Dark – a Triolet

 
This house shines dark while you’re away;
Bring home your sunshine drenched in loving smiles.
–  I drown with anguish every time you stray,
This house shines dark while you’re away.
Remembering the words you’d always say,
   “No worries my dear – Not so many miles!”
This house shines dark while you’re away;
   Bring home your sunshine drenched in loving smiles.
 
☮TheMsLvh © 2011
Image source: Dark House
 
French in origin, and likely dating to the thirteenth century, the triolet is a short poem of eight lines with only two rhymes used throughout. The requirements of this fixed form are straightforward: the first line is repeated in the fourth and seventh lines; the second line is repeated in the final line; and only the first two end-words are used to complete the tight rhyme scheme.

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California Ink In Motion by TheMsLvh is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License

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  1. September 5, 2011 at 10:34 am

    I love shines dark! An excellent triolet.

  2. September 5, 2011 at 10:46 am

    I love the rhythmn of the triolet and the line you chose to repeat is perfect. Must try one some day. Thanks.

    • September 5, 2011 at 11:33 am

      Ty it! You will be amazed how easy they are once you come up with a good couplet. Thanks for your comment.

  3. September 5, 2011 at 11:00 am

    Really interesting Triolet-beautiful oxymoron in ‘dark shines’ and also reminded me of the song ‘aint no sunshine when she’s gone’ from the movie Notting Hill.

  4. Danny Nettleton
    September 5, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    Nice triolet! Like the image of the darkness shining. Absence has its own presence!

    Here’s a triolet I did awhile back:

    http://danielnettleton.wordpress.com/2011/07/08/trio-of-triolets/

  5. September 5, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    Wow – love ‘this house shines dark while you’re away – nice one

  6. A.B. Thomas
    September 5, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    Love the sentiment and the style of the write!

  7. September 5, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    Beautiful poetry. I like this one.

    My entry: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/04/blood-on-the-moon-2/

  8. September 5, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    that was pretty, sing-songy, nice :)
    Happy gooseberry day!!!
    http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/09/06/legerdemain/

    • September 5, 2011 at 6:01 pm

      As I venture the different forms of poetry, some do tend to feel “singy-songy” just the way it is ruled. Thank you for the visit and comment

  9. September 5, 2011 at 6:14 pm
  10. September 5, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    beautiful

    Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog :) my hubby is pretty amazing, he makes all women feel like queens ♥

  11. September 5, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    Reminded me so of the time my husband and I, for reasons outside our control, have lived on opposite sides of the world for several months at a time. Such a beautiful sentiment, thank you!

  12. September 5, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    Love the oxymoron!

  13. September 6, 2011 at 5:05 am

    Well done!!! I like this form and must try it myself. I love the title and the repetition of it throughout your poem :)

  14. September 6, 2011 at 6:56 am

    Very well crafted. All rhymes are organic, everything sounding natural.

  15. September 6, 2011 at 7:47 am

    Well done and well illustrated.

  16. September 6, 2011 at 5:33 pm

    I really like the first line and the picture sets the mood right away
    and your lines are so fitting…bring home the sunshine and smiles.
    Thank you for the read. I think I want to try one soon.

  17. September 6, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    beautiful triolet…and creative capture of missing the one we love..

  18. September 7, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    Ahhh, how can he (or she) ever leave the house with you there waiting and writing such amazing poetry?! Oh well, I guess we all have to venture away from the house that shines darkly once in a while, even if just down to the store for a bag of Cheetos.

  19. hobgoblin2011
    September 8, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    Really enjoyed this piece quite a bit. Always dark when you’re away is a great line, it holds so much in there. Really nice write, triolets are fun. Thanks

  20. September 8, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Ever a fan of the triolet, I think you nailed this one. Emotions and physical location nicely portrayed.

  21. September 8, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    I want to thank everyone for your wonderful comments. It is becoming more difficult to type, hence the surgery is scheduled Sept 27 to fix my wrist and elbow due to a fall. Then I will be able to type the dictionay if I want! :)

    Again, I read and love all your comments and the time you take is truly appreicated.
    xo

  22. September 9, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    A lovely triolet. I’ll echo other commentators on the striking oxymoron. Sublime written :-)

  23. September 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Your writing shines brightly in this one. Funny how ‘shines darkly’ makes absolute sense.

    Keep writing while you can. There will be rehab on that arm after the surgery, and it may take longer than you think before you start typing that dictionary.

  24. September 27, 2011 at 8:57 am

    Such a deep sense of yearning captured in these 8 lines…

    I hope you are feeling better this week.

  25. September 27, 2011 at 9:06 am

    Beautiful writing, kiddo. Good luck with your surgery – today is the day! Hope you heal well and swiftly so we can read more of your glorious writing. Maybe you could have a friend post something you dictate on your blog so we know how you’re doing? Take good care. It is time to do just one day at a time, and slowly the surgery site will get better and less painful.

  26. September 27, 2011 at 11:18 am

    Somebody has to be singing ‘You are my sunshine’? ♥

  27. September 27, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Oh yes! – a poem of deep, felt longing… and lovely in triolet form.

  28. September 27, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    Beautiful poem!

  29. September 28, 2011 at 6:28 am

    i have to share this with my husband, what a perfect poem, lovely and right to the heart!

  30. September 28, 2011 at 10:16 am

    Love the re-use of material.

    What a perfect juxtaposition: “house shines dark”

    And this has to be one of those perfectly poetic lines: “I drown with anguish every time you stray” — natively iambic but a dotted triplet rhythm with downbeats of Drown, Ang, Ev, Stray. Just a perfect line. Can one copyright single lines?

  31. September 28, 2011 at 10:44 am

    This was beautiful! I love this form. I tried it, but need to do it again….

  32. October 13, 2011 at 2:45 am

    Well it has all been said. Lovely poem.

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