Home > iambic pentameter, Poem, Poetry, Poets United, Sonetto Rispetto, Sonnet, Whimsical > Amphitrite – Sailor’s Sonnet

Amphitrite – Sailor’s Sonnet

*Amphitrite– Ἀμφιτρίτη – [am-fi-trahy-tee]
The goddess queen of the sea, wife of Lord Poseidon. Amphitrite was the goddess who spawned the sea’s rich bounty–fish and shellfish–as well as dolphins, seals and whales.
 
 
The sailor’s story told from long ago –
a Maiden bravely swims through winds of force;
her essence glided free where trade winds blow.
Inside her ocean currents, set a course –
to spread abundance within water’s flow,
exploding life to spread true nature’s source.
Exquisite sunset hues in cloudless skies,
above her depths of cold – a sailor flies.
 
Beneath secluded shores of distant lore,
soft melodies entwine the ocean’s tide –
white frosted tips on swells of lapis blue.
Grey whales surrender waters – breaching soar;
to kiss the moon – igniting stars collide.
Amazing glory – sailor’s brilliant view.
 
Sweet Goddess, Amphitrite, we implore;
allow the Shepard’s moon hold safe our ride.
Deliver us upon your distant shore –
take not into your arms where you reside.
For you have charmed so many men before –
within your ink of darkness – sailors hide.
 
☮TheMsLvh © 2011
Image provided by and submitted to Imaginary Garden with Read Toads also Poets United – dVerse – The Poetry Palace 
The sonetto rispetto is a specialized form of poetry related to the more well-known sonnet. It was created and popularized in Italy during the historical period known as the Renaissance (14th to 17th centuries C.E.)
 
 A sonetto rispetto has 8 lines of iambic pentameter in the first stanzas, in a rhyme scheme of  a b a b a b c c. The following two stanzas have 6 lines with a slightly different rhyming scheme.
 
This form was used for composing improvised folk music using popular tunes, and the subject matter was usually an address of love from a gentleman to a lady.
 
 
  Creative Commons License
California Ink In Motion by TheMsLvh is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License
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  1. September 3, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    I would love some critique, Please give it a shot.

  2. September 3, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    This is fantastic, in both laguage and perfection of metre. I especially love the second stanza, it really resonates……the grey whales, breaching soar….to kiss the moon…..sigh. A wonderful read right before bed. I hope I dream of whales!

  3. September 3, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    All I can say is: This is a ‘huge’ piece, and remarkable in its intensity of emotion and word choice. I can imagine how much of yourself went into its creation, and you have an end result to be very proud of. What I liked about your telling of the tale was the way the woman of the sea retained much of the focus, but you switched it back to the sailor’s perspective in the final lines of each stanza – that made it so real for me, and I could understand how the ancient civilizations saw gods in nature.

    Thank you for sharing your work on Real Toads.

  4. September 4, 2011 at 12:03 am

    I can’t critique this: it’s too good. Is it for Poetic Bloomings? You have shown us a fascinating form – sometimes a sonnet seems too short, but this is just right. Rather than a volta, your last stanza is like a prayer.

  5. September 4, 2011 at 3:49 am

    oh I love the approach taken here! and the form – so expertly done! “a sailor flies” – brilliant!

  6. September 4, 2011 at 8:56 am

    This is exquisite. I love it.

  7. September 4, 2011 at 10:41 am

    This is so lovely. Really is an image filled, lovely write.

  8. September 4, 2011 at 10:41 am

    interesting form. i never tried that.

  9. September 4, 2011 at 10:55 am

    You’ve got me feeling the chill of the ocean . . . “swells of lapis blue, ink of darkness” that raise a foreboding and set the stage for what may happen in the end.

    It is the sailor flies above, views and then fears being hidden (swallowed up by the sea) as so many before.

    The final stanza, an incantation, I think . . . deference to the powers of the goddess. A fitting conclusion.

    • September 4, 2011 at 1:04 pm

      Thanks Jeff for your insights into this poem. Always love to hear how my poems provoke which feelings. Thank you for the visit. Hope to see you again.

  10. September 4, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    Exquisite imagery and a great rhythm to it. The sea presents so many faces… and it lures us in so many different ways. Very nice.

  11. September 4, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    The rispetto (respect) is an apt form. This is respectful to Amphitrite, the sea and the sailors. I really liked this. Wonderful stuff flows from that image.

  12. Leona
    September 5, 2011 at 10:12 am

    Another beautiful poem! And the picture is beautiful too! Well, done my friend.

  13. September 6, 2011 at 10:57 am

    perfect and beautiful…

  14. hedgewitch
    September 6, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    You show the true brilliance and delight this form can offer to the poet and to the reader–i love the images, the cadence and the final lines with their slightly differing structure just make the end hit the inner ear even stronger. Loved it, TheMslvh

  15. September 6, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    Great piece and of course nicely done with the rhyme only adding to it.

  16. September 6, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    This is just lovely! I’ve never heard of the form so can’t comment, but I loved it. The read was beautiful, thank you!

  17. September 6, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    this is a lovely verse and really well played to form…some nice word play that really brings alive the sailors journey and hopes there of…

  18. September 6, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    I love the balance and even keel that rocked me evenly

    fantastic form – i have pinched it! on cut and pste

    always a pleaure to read your work

    this is a beauty

  19. September 6, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    First of all, the image is fantastic and speaks to centuries of lore and poetry, second of all…I wish I wrote this! It’s awesome, perfect, and so up my alley. One day I’ll pull off a decent sonnet, for now…I’m going to pretend this is it! ;) Seriously fantastic! Mad skills, Poet!

  20. September 6, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    Really enjoyed this, though honestly I’m not a sea type person….. scary things to me, Titanic like things… don’t want to go on the ocean……. but do enjoy a tale….. and your poem just brought images of Ulysses, the Odyssey and Iliad to me in living color…. This is beautiful old poetry….. I read a quote a few months ago from a very famous mid-19th century poet, for the life of me I can’t remember who, but he said something like one of the fundamental goals of poetry should be to keep language alive…… And that is so awesomely true, I think. When I read things from centuries ago it just fills me with passion. The words, the language, the beautiful sentiments that are in them. Even from the civil war, which technically speaking was practically yesterday. But the thoughts and words in some of the love letters from soldiers in the field or from their wives, or significant others, or hopefuls, all of it just absolutely takes my breath away. You did your homework here and your poem is beautiful……

  21. September 6, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    And so you are TheMsLvh, I like your comment at my site, thank you. And your poem is magnificent.

  22. September 6, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    creative and original a great ode to Greek mythology.

  23. Gay
    September 6, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    Beautiful sonnet and interesting variation on the form that I didn’t know. We’ll be featuring sonnets on FormForAll before long as Luke Prater is scheduled to host that when life settles for him a bit. I’d love for you to link this again then. It is original, well constructed, compelling as well as pulling myth and nature together in this tight form. Excellent. G.

    • September 7, 2011 at 12:13 pm

      Thanks Guy for an invitation I could not refuse. Luke always has been a polishing cloth to my sonnets. I would be honored if Luke read this. Thanks again for the invite.

  24. September 6, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    Yes “lovely” does seem to be the right word for this.

  25. September 7, 2011 at 5:45 am

    A very colorful and engaging series of images. The metre is very nicely done and natural-feeling. It strikes me that though this is done in an Italian form, you’ve injected something of an Attic style into the verses. Most enjoyable.

  26. September 7, 2011 at 10:10 am

    Fantabulous!

    “. . . .within YOUR ink of darkness. . .” we all have been seduced by your words

  27. September 7, 2011 at 10:28 am

    Just wonderful. The way you use your words and images to bring her to life. Love it! Great picture of Her Ocean….

    Melanie

  28. September 7, 2011 at 10:52 am

    Im in love with this! Oh how I wish I could write a sonnet! Beautiful!

  29. September 7, 2011 at 11:14 am

    Awesome writing. Great tempo and rhyme, with a beautiful story to go along. Very nice!

    My entry: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/07/cannonball-3/

  30. September 7, 2011 at 11:44 am

    creative sonnet…

    thanks for sharing.

  31. September 7, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    This is very classic.

  32. September 7, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    “within your ink of darkness – sailors hide”

    Beautiful poem, being a sailor myself I really did enjoy it, even though the days of romantic seas are mostly lost to technology.

  33. September 7, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    A piece well written, engaging – good work…

  34. September 7, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    Epic poem; I was captivated throughout.

  35. Siouxsie
    September 7, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    One of the best new poems I have read in weeks. Thank you for sharing.

  36. September 7, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    perfect!

  37. September 7, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    I love the imagery your words evoke in my mind. Bravo!

  38. September 7, 2011 at 11:14 pm

    I love your site and I love your poem and each time I come here to read I love it even more please keep sharing

    Ann LeFlore http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/08/the-crimson-witch/

  39. September 8, 2011 at 12:57 am

    I like it very much, especially the imagery of the first verse. I am taken with the portrayal of the force of life “exploding life” and “igniting stars collide”. The piece sort of winds up with a plea to The Goddess to spare sailor’s lives, however I can’t help thinking that with the kind of force and power and beauty of nature that you portray in the first two verses that there must be some sacrifice. That in a way the lives lost underscore the strength and beauty, part of the whole dfance if you will.
    Quite a thought provoking piece for me!

  40. September 8, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    You write beautifully. I like your poem.

  41. September 8, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    Thank you everyone for all your wonderful comments. They warm my heart. My typing has become difficult, hence the surgery on Sept 27 to fix the injury due to a fall at work. I did not want to appear rude by not returning comments. Thank you again so very much.

  42. September 9, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    Beautifully written. I love the imagery, the vibration of the words, nice job!

  43. Miss Kitten
    September 10, 2011 at 6:53 am

    Lovely sonnet! Very inspirational. I think I might need to give it another go. Years ago I won a prize for writing a sonnet about a cat for my high school English class. Hehe…I think I might even remember the opening line..

    “Step by step and slowly do you stalk…”

  44. September 11, 2011 at 7:59 am

    Rich and inspiring poetry:)

  45. September 11, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    Quality writing …..

  46. September 12, 2011 at 7:05 am

    lovely.. really lovely.. :)

  47. September 12, 2011 at 8:06 am

    Hauntingly beautiful.

  48. anjum wasim dar
    September 12, 2011 at 10:30 am

    Great Theme and characterisation.Loved the grandeur of the oceans and the role played by the powerful-a little more balance in choice of words and word length perhaps would make it just perfect.

    • September 12, 2011 at 12:45 pm

      Thanks for your comments! I am open to any suggestions…have one you might want to share?

  49. September 15, 2011 at 9:24 am

    Very dark and ominous story. Well done.

  50. September 15, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    This is lovely. The form and content flowing with the rhythm of the waves, and the image is gorgeous.

    Beth

  51. September 28, 2011 at 5:32 am

    Well written poetry and I love the feminine mythology

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