The Aftermath; A horse and man
Amazing steed with hair silk white,
beauty graced – shadowed the moonlight.
No spiraled horn nor wings of flight;
earthbound hoofs pranced with sheer delight.
Adorned with crown, rider takes mount;
dreams of triumph fail to surmount.
From battles, deeply soul-engaged;
throws down stained spears – his heart enraged.
Battles drummed, he answered the call,
left scarred, yet survived above all.
Tattered vest – arrows injected,
war left his soul unprotected.
High on his horse with thoughts impure,
close his eyes to the world obscure.
Finds great solace - the rhythmic gait,
dark shadows of war bearing weight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TheMsLvh © 2011 *Special thanks to Mike Patrick for introducing me to meter and feet
image source:http://devilry.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2ylrrm
California Ink In Motion by TheMsLvh is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License
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Poets United
Great poem, I enjoyed reading :)
I appreicate you took the time to read. Thank you for your comment.
This a great. :)
Your style really remeind me of another blogger I love to visit. You should check out his blog – I really think you’d find something you’d like.
http://roughwaterjohn.wordpress.com/2011/06/15/i-speak-no-words-that-wound/
I’d love to know what you think…
Jo, what a treat! Absolutly loved that poem you recommended. And thank you for your comment on my poem as well! I am going back to check out more of this blog you recommended. Thank you!
Lisa
I knew you’d appreciate his poem and blog. The pirate’s a poet first class – like you. :)
Again, I thank you for steering me his way And humbly thank you for your comparison.
Lisa
Wow the rhyme and rhythm is superb! The use of language and imagery is also brilliant. Loved it!
So very kind your words are. Thank you!
Why thank you! The more I write poems (new at this) the more I am learing from fellow poets when they comment. I am truly enjoying this community. This poem was the first I applied some of what I learned. Glad you enjoyed it. Happy 4th!
cool..
perfect writing…
:)
wow, Thank you Jingle!
Love this! Beautifully crafted, with wonderful imagery and rhyme. ‘Very’ nicely done!
Thank you John, That is what I thought of your poem. *still thanking Jo for your link*
What is survival with the soul unprotected? Your Aftermath is a war-torn warrior, not the picture of a hero. The rhythm of his steed may save him yet.
You left me with a little hope.
the horse, the warrior/king called to war, injured and tired of fighting, he rides off into the evening feeling he had done his job. There are many levels of feeling in this. One can feel his emotions, and he knows he went too far, was too brutal, and now searches for his redemption. Hope this brings you hope. thank you for your comment *Thanks Mike for this one!*
Really beautiful, thank you for sharing. For a moment I merged graced and shadowed to grace-shadowed, I like it but dont what you do with that is up to you :) The shadows of this poem are far-reaching, its like a fine wine lingering for the rest of the night :) (I really do like it :) )
Thank you for your comments. Will give that some thought
Nobody ever wins and none go unscathed. What an excellent testimony to the war-torn. Thank you so much for writing it!
Loved it, and you can hear the beat of the hooves as you read :)
A real artistic feel to it…has a classic feel to it
enjoyed the read.
i like poems about war, & this work is a view from a new angle, how it can scar a person who had gone through it. ( i hope i got it right ) :)
You got right on! Check back in a couple of days, I will have another take about the Viet Nam era
invite you to take our week 5 writing challenge,
anything comes to mind would be awesome to share,
smiles.
hope to see your in.
Happy Saturday.
bless your talent.
welcome back!
Greetings, how are you?
Inviting you to join our poetry potluck today,
Week 43 is free verse week, submit 1 to 3 random poems, enjoy the fun!
Hope to see you soon.
Happy Tuesday.
Sign in to follow our blog using your gmail or yahoo accounts…
Xoxox
You certainly have made the rhymed quatrain your own. These lines roll out with seeming ease, when I know a lot of hard work goes into a piece such as this one.
Mike has done you a great service. You’ve also done so for yourself. Good work!
He sure has! He was the one that told me about feet and meter. Thanks Kim
I enjoyed this very much!
I am glad that you drew me here … from dVerse Poets and the current article … with poem by Stephen Crane. You are right there is most definitely a common thread. My favorite poetry to both read and write is The Poetry of War.